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as i approached the seattle NOW outreach booth at the university street fair on this sunny sunday afternoon - after spending a lazy rainy day there yesterday - i was anticipating talking to all those interested in NOW - handing out brochures and NOWsletters - selling our clever newly printed t-shirts - bumper-stickers and buttons - and enduring the occasional woman-hater blaming NOW for every problem he has ever suffered - the christian homophobe absurdly wanting to confess to me thinking it will absolve them for their hate - and of course the anti-choicers who wants to make sure i know their myopic point of view. as i walked through the crowd and saw the commotion - i didn't think anything more than "oh something's going on" - till 20 feet from the NOW booth when i realized it was us under attack - by 12 operation rescue demonstrators - the usual hired thugs with necks like unskinned hams - and i had to dart through the 3-man police line infront of our booth to take my place at what was obviously the front-line -- since yesterday had been so quiet - i was totally unprepared for this - and my first nervous reaction was - "wow we're it". i hugged my sisterwarriors - stashed my purse - and studied their apparently calm smiling faces for any sign i should be afraid - detected none and thought as i imperceptibly quivered all over - what brave soldiers my sisters were - for it had to be screaming through their heads all the shootings and attacks on pro-choicers - and here we were - not a single ham-neck looking at us like people - we were the devil incarnate and they were gods champion. i was grateful for the police line - but (not one officer)
so much as offered to reassure us or explain how long they would stay or what they would do in case of an attack - and i understood only too clearly the looks
from the ham-necks - flexing those huge muscles - throwing their
testosterone in our direction - crowding as close to the booth as police
could prevent - that they were here for reasons that had nothing to do with
god and everything to do with a vicious - thinly concealed and explosively
unpredictable hatred of women - and the need to control us "for our own
good" - and NOW was their usual target -- and then i looked at us - three
conservative appearing middle-aged plumpish non-violent mild-mannered
activists - who could be ferocious if needed - and knew though we weren't
speaking of it - we were all really scared - our smiles stretched too thin
across our teeth - talking too much and a bit too high-pitched - while
outwardly calm - leaning on each other and into the storm and still standing
- and - that many in the crowd were reaching through those ham-necks at risk
of being hurt - and passed the police line to buy our "control yourself not
me" t-shirts - our buttons - bumper-stickers - or just handing us money in
support - some loud about their pro-choice stand - all thanking us
for being here -- one young woman - slight-built - nearly invisible - stood
quietly infront of the booth - vibrating to nerves like mine - i reached and
touched her arm to let her know i appreciated her sisterhood - she smiled in
instant bond - the power of feminism rushed between us - not being too
afraid of the feeling to stop us from standing together - i was impressed to
tears. we were out of NOWsletters and brochures hours before the fair
closed - and even after the demonstrators left people continued coming by -
thanking NOW for being there - buying all the rest of our stuff in support
-- my two sisters and i agreed the demonstration had backfired big-time -
for we raised more money that day than all the days - and laughed off how
relieved we were those ham-necks were on a tight leash and had to leave for
their next scheduled outrage - and - we finally admitted how exhausted from
battle we were - and how elated that so many joined us - standing for
women's rights. and i couldn't help but be reminded by the bulky opposition
out-numbering us 5 to 1 - how power-full NOW and feminism are - and that
power is sometimes the reason women are closet feminists - afraid of the
F word - afraid to join us publicly - for society teaches girls to fear the
feeling of power - and that owning that feeling will somehow make them less
feminine - yet from the looks of the opposition today - and their need to
over-poweringly intimidate us for simply wanting the rights and privileges
extended to men in our society - which happens to include control over one's
own body - with or without a penis - i would say feminism is intrinsically
power-full - and we're stuck with the feeling - and have to find ways to
help our closeted sisters who mistake this rush for the legitimate fear that may come with it - learn how to be
comfortable with power - to maybe even like it. and that's empower - not
power over.
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Copyright 2006 - All rights reserved by author.
Said It: Feminist News Culture & Politics
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