Said it - Featured Article: Fetus Envy by Melissa Maxwell



Fetus Envy by Melissa Maxwell Cast: JUDGE: male, 50's, any ethnicity WOMAN: white, 30's PROSECUTOR: white male, 40's DEFENSE ATTORNEY: white female, 30's-40's MAN: white, 30's BAILIFF: black male, 20's-30's OFFICERS OF THE COURT: male, any ethnicity PLACE: A court room TIME: The not too distant future NOTE: There should be a quick, clipped pace to the entire scene. Lights up on a Judge in full robe behind a bench. A Bailiff stands to his left. In front of them are two tables: one for prosecution, one for defense. The judge hits his gavel once. JUDGE Next case. BAILIFF (handing Judge a file) Case number 25984. All present. Simultaneously, a mousey, non-virile looking, yet very bombastic man (prosecutor), in a suit and glasses, carrying a briefcase, rushes in; while from the other side two court officers rush in dragging a handcuffed woman. WOMAN Let me go. Will you... Hey! I said. Take your... LET. GO. OF. ME -- PROSECUTOR Your Honor, the state would like to bring your attention to-- JUDGE (hitting gavel) Order... Order... Everyone quiets down. JUDGE Mr. Richmen. Back again so soon. Alright, let's hear it. PROSECUTOR People versus Sturgeon, Your Honor -- WOMAN There's obviously been some mistake. OFFICER OF THE COURT (interjecting) That's what they all say. WOMAN Your Honor, I was in the grocery store, minding my own business, when these two GOONS came along and abducted me. Never read me my rights, never even told me what I was supposedly being charged with. And roughed me up, I might add. JUDGE Mr. Richmen? PROSECUTOR Murder, Your Honor. WOMAN What?! PROSECUTOR Murder in the first degree. WOMAN That's ridiculous! I didn't kill anybody. PROSECUTOR (grandiose, points at woman) Where were you on Tuesday, June tenth of last year, young lady? JUDGE You're getting ahead of yourself, Mr. Richmen. WOMAN Your Honor, I'm innocent. I'm telling you. JUDGE Mrs. Sturgeon, you'll have plenty of time to plead your case. WOMAN I don't have a case. Like I said -- JUDGE (hitting gavel) Mrs. Sturgeon this is a court room, not a rock concert. Kindly conduct yourself appropriately. WOMAN Yes, Your Honor, but -- JUDGE Here's a hint, Mrs. Sturgeon: only when spoken to. WOMAN But Your Honor -- JUDGE Your parents did teach you that? WOMAN Yes, but -- JUDGE Good. Then not another peep unless otherwise directed. Now, do you have counsel or would you like one appointed to you? WOMAN I don't NEED counsel. Haven't you heard a word I've -- JUDGE It's a simple yes or no question Mrs. Sturgeon. You either have counsel or you don't. Unless, of course, you're one of those whack jobs who insists on representing yourself. WOMAN Would SOMEONE PLEASE LISTEN to -- JUDGE (explodes) Bailiff! Officers grab woman. WOMAN Hey. Wait. What are you...? No. Don't. Help -- Bailiff removes a roll of duct tape from his pocket, rips off a large piece and covers her mouth. JUDGE I gave you fair warning, Mrs. Sturgeon, but you insist on doing things the hard way. Next time I'll hold you in contempt. Now, let's try this again: Do you have counsel or will you be representing yourself today? Woman mumbles, shaking head vigorously. JUDGE I'll take that as a no on both counts. * Therefore, an attorney will be appointed to you. Simultaneously, a female lawyer, a la Gloria Allred (intense, efficient, no nonsense) enters. She pulls out a large compact and primps. JUDGE No need, Ms. Pierce. No cameras in the court room today. DEFENSE ATTORNEY Shoot! I knew I should have gone with that separation of church and state case. JUDGE I take it you're familiar with the case? DEFENSE ATTORNEY I was only just now assigned it, Your Honor, but having glanced at the material, I believe I'm prepared to go forward, as it appears to be a very straightforward case. JUDGE Mr. Richmen? PROSECUTOR Prosecution is eager to proceed, Your Honor. JUDGE Very good then. DEFENSE ATTORNEY Your Honor, my client wishes to plea not guilty by reason of insanity. Woman objects, mumbling wildly, but is completely ignored by everyone.* PROSECUTOR Objection, Your Honor. Ms. Pierce is up to her usual shenanigans -- DEFENSE ATTORNEY And I object to Mr. Richmen's attempt to besmirch my good reputation. PROSECUTOR C'mon, Barbara. This is your typical bag of tricks. DEFENSE ATTORNEY Sherman, I have a duty to defend my client -- JUDGE (hitting gavel) Look, I've got a fiftieth wedding anniversary to attend this evening for which my wife will kill me if I'm late. So can we please refrain from the personal attacks and stick to the matter at hand. DEFENSE ATTORNEY Your Honor, I have written testimony and documentation from the defendant's psychiatrist that she was on Prozac at the time the alleged murder took place, clearly indicating that she was not in the proper state of mind and ultimately not responsible for -- PROSECUTOR Oh, please. Your Honor, I'm on Prozac. But you don't see me running around killing people, do you? JUDGE Sustained. DEFENSE ATTORNEY Your Honor! JUDGE Sorry counsel. I gotta go with the prosecution on this one. Half the nation's on Prozac. Heck, I've been on it for the last three years now. So you're going to have to do better than that. Alright then, let's move on. DEFENSE ATTORNEY Your Honor, if I may -- PROSECUTOR Oh, for goodness sake. DEFENSE ATTORNEY I'd like to consult with my client for a moment. PROSECUTOR Quit stalling and let's get on with it already. JUDGE Thank you for your concerns with time, Mr. Richmen, but I'll be the judge of that. (Cracks himself up.) Since counsel has only now been assigned the case and had no prior contact with her client, I'll allow it. DEFENSE ATTORNEY Thank you, Your Honor. JUDGE Two minutes, Ms. Pierce, and only two minutes. Make good use of your time. DEFENSE ATTORNEY Thank you. I shall. Pulls woman aside, removes tape from her mouth. This is a rapid exchange. WOMAN Thank God. These people are crazy. DEFENSE ATTORNEY Laura, listen, it doesn't look good. WOMAN I didn't kill anybody. DEFENSE ATTORNEY I've seen the evidence. WOMAN Evidence? What are you talking about? DEFENSE ATTORNEY Best we can hope for is a plea bargain. WOMAN But I didn't do anything! DEFENSE ATTORNEY Manslaughter. Mandatory sentence ten years. WOMAN Whose side are you on, anyway? DEFENSE ATTORNEY If I know Sherman, he'll go for it. But we've got to do it now if -- JUDGE Thirty seconds, counsel. DEFENSE ATTORNEY Thank you, Your Honor. (to woman) Now, as your lawyer, I strongly suggest you take the deal. WOMAN Are you crazy? DEFENSE ATTORNEY Take the deal, Laura. It's the only chance you've -- WOMAN No. I'm not admitting to something I didn't even do. DEFENSE ATTORNEY If you don't take the deal, I can't guarantee you anything. WOMAN Look, I already told you -- DEFENSE ATTORNEY This is your last chance. JUDGE Time's up. DEFENSE ATTORNEY (disgusted) Yeah, well, don't say I didn't warn you. She slaps tape back on woman's mouth and drags her back to the table. JUDGE What is your plea? DEFENSE ATTORNEY Innocent, Your Honor. Judge looks at the defendant. She mumbles in agreement. JUDGE So noted. Now, Mrs. Sturgeon, in all fairness to you, I'm willing to remove that tape, but only under one condition: you promise to behave. Woman vigorously nods. JUDGE No outbursts. No hysterics. Understood? Woman vigorously nods again. JUDGE Bailiff. Bailiff uncuffs her and rips off tape. WOMAN Ow! JUDGE Only when spoken to, Mrs. Sturgeon. Only when spoken to. WOMAN (re: judge's warning) Thank you, Your Honor. The Judge rolls his eyes, as she clearly doesn't get the meaning of only when spoken to. JUDGE Proceed. PROSECUTOR The state would like to put into evidence Mrs. Sturgeon's medical records -- WOMAN Hey, those are private! PROSECUTOR The People's Need to Know Suspicious, Unlawful and Otherwise Deviant or Amoral Activities Act allows the government access to any and all records, private or otherwise, red-flagged for questionable motive and/or activity. WOMAN (to prosecutor) I beg your pardon! (to Judge) There is absolutely nothing deviant or amoral about me. PROSECUTOR Then care to tell the court why on Tuesday, June tenth of last year, you chose to ABORT your unborn child. There is a collective gasp in the court room, and all look at the Prosecutor. DEFENSE ATTORNEY Objection. Defense takes issue with the prosecution's use of terminology. Mrs. Sturgeon had a miscarriage, NOT an abortion. PROSECUTOR Semantics, Your Honor. Counsel is fully aware that under the Champion The Unheralded Child Act, a woman can be held responsible for... (reading) "...any and all actions that the court deems hurtful to, and which results in, directly or otherwise but not limited to, bringing about any irrevocable harm and/or death to a child." The prosecution will argue that the defendant's actions directly resulted in the premature and unlawful death of her unborn child. JUDGE Overruled. DEFENSE ATTORNEY My client was in a very fragile state, both physically and emotionally. She can't be held responsible for things clearly beyond her control. JUDGE Overruled. I don't write the law, counsel, I just enforce it. As written, Mr. Richmen has every right to bring charges against your client. Whether they are true or not, Ms. Pierce, is your burden of proof. Continue. PROSECUTOR Mrs. Sturgeon, did you or did you not kill your child? DEFENSE ATTORNEY Objection. Defense takes issue with the word child. A fetus is NOT a child. Some might even argue that it isn't a living being -- PROSECUTOR Your Honor -- DEFENSE ATTORNEY As defined by the New Lexicon Webster's Dictionary -- JUDGE Spare us the definition, Ms. Pierce. Need I remind you the Supreme Court already ruled on that: life begins at conception. Intellectual, not physical conception. DEFENSE ATTORNEY Yes, but it's a ruling with which I vehemently disagree. JUDGE Your problem, not mine. Now quit crying over spilled milk, and stop trying my patience. Mr. Richmen? PROSECUTOR Mrs. Sturgeon, did you not terminate a pregnancy last year? WOMAN He can't just talk to me like that, can he? JUDGE How would you prefer he address you: Mother may I? WOMAN No, but I mean, doesn't he have to call me forward, swear me in or something? JUDGE You intend to answer truthfully, don't you? Or is this an admission to perjury before the fact? WOMAN Yes. I mean, NO! I mean -- JUDGE Please, Mrs. Sturgeon Just answer the question. WOMAN What was the question again? DEFENSE ATTORNEY Your Honor, I would like to advise my client that she is not obligated to testify if she so chooses. JUDGE Duly noted. WOMAN No, I want to. I have nothing to hide. DEFENSE ATTORNEY Just won't be happy 'til they throw away the key, will you? Prosecutor leaves his table, begins playing the room, grandstanding. PROSECUTOR Mrs. Sturgeon, did you terminate your pregnancy last year? DEFENSE ATTORNEY Objection. PROSECUTOR I'll rephrase. Did you have a pregnancy that ended in termination? DEFENSE ATTORNEY Objection! PROSECUTOR Rephrase again. Did your pregnancy go to term? Beat. WOMAN No. PROSECUTOR And why is that? WOMAN I lost the baby. PROSECUTOR I'm sorry, Mrs. Sturgeon. Kindly repeat that for the court. WOMAN (louder, more enunciated) I lost the baby. PROSECUTOR (to audience as if to a jury) Oh, I see. You "lost" the baby. "Lost" the baby. She says... she "lost"... her baby. JUDGE Who the hell are you talking to? PROSECUTOR Oh, uh, sorry, Your Honor. Returning to his to his table, Prosecutor refers to his notes, regroups. PROSECUTOR Now, uh, Mrs. Sturgeon, would you admit that this "loss" was due largely in part to your own negligence? LAWYER Objection! Coercing -- WOMAN No! PROSECUTOR Do you admit you had a complicated pregnancy? WOMAN Yes. PROSECUTOR And your doctor warned you of the consequences if you did not heed to his advice, did he not? WOMAN Well... PROSECUTOR It's a yes or no question, Mrs. Sturgeon. DEFENSE ATTORNEY Badgering, Your Honor. JUDGE Overruled. Mrs. Sturgeon, please answer Mr. Richmen's question. WOMAN Well, yes. But -- PROSECUTOR And kindly tell the court what advice your doctor had given. WOMAN To stay in bed. PROSECUTOR You directly disobeyed his orders, didn't you? WOMAN No! PROSECUTOR No? Are you saying that at no time did you ignore your doctor's warning? Need I remind you Mrs. Sturgeon, this is a court of law. Perjury is a serious offence. WOMAN No. I mean, I tried. I did the best I could. PROSECUTOR (to audience again) Oh, I see. You did "the best you could". She did "the best she could" ladies and gentlemen. JUDGE Will you cut that out! PROSECUTOR Sorry. JUDGE Geez. PROSECUTOR And isn't it true that instead of staying in bed like the doctor ordered, you chose to go to work? WOMAN I had to. I was in jeopardy of losing my job. PROSECUTOR Chose work over the health and well-being of your child. WOMAN I had been in bed for three and a half months, three and a -- DEFENSE ATTORNEY Badgering, Your Honor... JUDGE Order... Order... PROSECUTOR She chose work, ladies and gentlemen. DEFENSE ATTORNEY Prosecution is deliberately badgering my client. JUDGE Order. WOMAN My employer threatened to fire me if I didn't return to work. If I lost my job I'd lose my health insurance. PROSECUTOR Work, over the health and well-being of her poor, innocent, UNBORN child! JUDGE (hitting gavel) Order in the court! Everyone quiets down. JUDGE Mr. Richmen! You are NOT Perry Mason. Now reign it in and conduct yourself appropriately, or I'll sanction you. Do I make myself clear? PROSECUTOR Completely. JUDGE Good. Then proceed. With caution. PROSECUTOR The state would like to call its next witness. Judge looks to Defense Attorney. She nods. Judge gives Prosecutor the okay. PROSECUTOR State calls to the stand Mr. Sturgeon. Almost simultaneously he enters and stands by the bench. The defendant rushes to him, throwing her arms around him. He tentatively hugs her back. WOMAN Oh, honey. Thank God. Thank God you're here. Tell them. Tell them the truth. WOMAN (suddenly remembering Judge) Oh, sorry. She retreats to the defense table. BAILIFF Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth? WOMAN Hey. How come he -- DEFENSE ATTORNEY Shush. MAN I do. PROSECUTOR Mr. Sturgeon, you and your wife had been trying to conceive for a while, correct? MAN Yes. PROSECUTOR And, in fact, this was not her first miscarriage, was it? MAN No, it was not. PROSECUTOR How many had she had before? MAN Three. PROSECUTOR I'm sorry. That must have been difficult for you. Man nods. PROSECUTOR Tell us, Mr. Sturgeon, as best you can, the reason for the multiple miscarriages. MAN Well, as the doctor put it, my wife has an inhospitable uterus. Something like that. The egg just didn't want to stick. Said it happens in some women. Like a rotten apple falling from a tree. PROSECUTOR To ensure that this baby made it to term, he advised her to stay in bed for the duration of her pregnancy. Did he not? MAN Yes. PROSECUTOR And was that working? MAN Well, it seemed to be. This was the longest she'd carried, anyway. PROSECUTOR And how long was that? MAN Twelve and a half weeks. PROSECUTOR So you believe that your wife did everything she possibly could to preserve the health and well-being of the child? DEFENSE ATTORNEY Objection. FETUS, not child. JUDGE Sustained. PROSECUTOR Do you believe she did everything possible to preserve the health and well-being of the fetus? MAN Well, yeah, but -- PROSECUTOR Yeah, but what? WOMAN Yeah, but what? DEFENSE ATTORNEY Laura -- WOMAN No, I want to hear this. But what? JUDGE Watch it, Mrs. Sturgeon. MAN I'm sorry, honey, but I swore to tell the truth. JUDGE Mr. Sturgeon, please refrain from addressing the defendant directly and answer the question. MAN Well, it's just that... PROSECUTOR Yes? Man looks at his wife as if to say I'm sorry, then blurts out his answer. MAN I never got the sense that she truly wanted children? WOMAN What? MAN She'd said on several occasions that she didn't think she would make a good mother -- WOMAN I was nervous. Scared. What new mother isn't? DEFENSE ATTORNEY Shush! MAN And, well, when we first discussed starting a family, I found out a few months later that she was still on the pill. WOMAN That was years ago. I wasn't ready then. I am now. DEFENSE ATTORNEY Laura, please. JUDGE Mrs. Sturgeon, I'm warning you. PROSECUTOR So are you saying, Mr. Sturgeon, that you believe your wife's feelings toward motherhood directly affected her inability to successfully carry to term? WOMAN Don't put words in his mouth. DEFENSE ATTORNEY Objection, Your Honor. JUDGE Mr. Richmen. PROSECUTOR That the very negative and hateful thoughts she harbored toward motherhood produced that hostile environment... DEFENSE ATTORNEY Objection! JUDGE Order... Order... PROSECUTOR That due to her own selfish desires, and unnatural and immoral thoughts... JUDGE Order... PROSECUTOR ...she purposely and willfully killed each and every one of YOUR unborn children? DEFENSE ATTORNEY Your Honor -- JUDGE Mr. Richmen. MAN Yes! Yes! YES! Collective gasp. Silence. Beat. WOMAN Oh. My. God. JUDGE Mrs. Sturgeon. WOMAN It was you. It was you all along, wasn't it? JUDGE Mrs. Sturgeon! WOMAN You son of a bitch. You god damn son of a -- DEFENSE ATTORNEY Laura don't! She lunges for her husband. Court Officers hold her back. MAN You killed my son. My heir. My namesake. My very flesh and blood. WOMAN Thank God I never had your children. You no good, lousy prick. My uterus isn't the problem. It's your rotten seed. Thank God it didn't stick! Man rushes off stage. PROSECUTOR I request we immediately move to sentencing. JUDGE Order! Order! Order! ORDER! PROSECUTOR Your Honor, Ms. Sturgeon would have us believe she is a the poor, defenseless victim, but I submit to you that the true colors of her nature -- those of a ruthless, cold-blooded murderer -- are just now beginning to show. JUDGE Mr. Richmen, stop trying to do my job! DEFENSE ATTORNEY May I respectfully ask what the court intends to do? JUDGE I'm afraid, counsel, there's nothing I can do. My hands are tied. While I'm not entirely satisfied with Mr. Richmen's case, Mrs. Sturgeon did provide enough rope with which to hang herself. Under the law, there's only one thing I can do. DEFENSE ATTORNEY You mean -- JUDGE Yes. (to officers of the court) Take her out back and throw her in the river. WOMAN What?! JUDGE If she floats, we know she's lying. If she sinks, she's been telling the truth. WOMAN You can't be serious. I can't swim. JUDGE Don't worry, Mrs. Sturgeon. We're not that barbaric. There'll be paramedics on hand to revive you should you drown. (hits gravel) Case closed. Thank you all. Good day. Judge exits. WOMAN (to her lawyer) You're not going to let them do this to me, are you? DEFENSE ATTORNEY Don't look at me. I told you to go for the plea bargain. The woman is dragged away, protesting. PROSECUTOR Another very valiant effort, as always. DEFENSE ATTORNEY I'll get you one of these days. As they gather their things PROSECUTOR I look forward to it. Hey, want to grab some lunch? My treat. DEFENSE ATTORNEY Sure. Where? PROSECUTOR How about that new place on the corner? They have a poached salmon salad to die for. DEFENSE ATTORNEY You're on. Lights fade as they exit. END OF SCENE. © November 2003 Representation: Robert A. Freedman Dramatic Agency, Inc. 1501 Broadway, ste 2310, New York, NY 10036 212-840-5760 Women's Lives, An American's Eyes \| Pyroglyphics: A Gallery \| Arriving at a Hyphen \| The B Word \| "Friends" - If You Can Take It
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